“Thanks to your apathetic ways that I have grown complacent and numb.”

These past few days, I have been contemplating about this random thought that I had. I don’t know why I feel so stoic. = \

I guess I’m just on the process of moving on (I think). Hopefully I am… because I am so tired of this. I hated the feeling that I am the only one who makes an “effort” all the time and yet you always act like you don’t know anything or you don’t care at all. I hated it. I STILL hate it.

Being stoic or numb is probably my way of coping up to avoid myself from falling once again once I see you. Even a smile, a Hi-Hello, a wave, a grin, a glimpse could win my heart back. I have to teach myself on how to avoid it.

OR I became stoic because I grew tired of expecting some kind affection from you. I am tired of waiting for nothing. I am also tired of being the only one who gives. I am tired of you not noticing it. I AM TIRED.

I hate you for teaching me how to love. I was once a Summer Finn who is cold and heartless but you turned me into Tom Hansen. Lonely and scarred. How I hope that I could go back into the person I used to be… Someone who does not believe in the existence of love. How I wish…

It doesn’t make sense at all. It never did. Never will.

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